Glut Your Soul on My Accursed Ugliness

seriously, Ivory soap for every stain (red wine, blueberry yogurt) on every fabric (silk, cotton, poly-blends) in any style (wedding dress, work suit). the white bar. nothing fancy. i keep one in a plastic bag under the bathroom sink.

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i used to work at the kind of store where customers would come in with a spot on something and ask us to fix it. we’d go to the back, soak the thing, scrub out the stain, and blow it dry. like new.