Glut Your Soul on My Accursed Ugliness

this is actually not a post about pants, but about tights, and how, the other day, i was in the subway, wearing spandex-less wool tights, which were falling down. this is january, in new york city. i’m wearing these tights under legwarmers, under a skirt, under a jacket, with a scarf and gloves and sweaters to contend with. it was hot on the subway. the tights were itchy and falling down. normally, in the privacy of my own home or a public bathroom, i can pull up my coat, pull down my skirt, in order to pull up my tights; however, i was on the subway and there were people. i was sitting down, which made it worse. i don’t have an answer. everyone always notices, or at least i think they do. i ended up sticking my hand up my jacket and yanking at some fabric, which looked awkward and made my skirt an uncomfortable length; did nothing for the tights. so i guess make sure you wear stretchy tights that won’t fall down. or don’t wear tights. or stay at home. hibernate. -t