February 2012
6 posts
1 tag
taliamailman asked: SERIOUSLY. tell me about rag curlers!!! will it make my hair like brigitte bardot's hair? what about soda cans??
2 tags
“Do you want me to go home?”
“Well,” said Marjorie, considering, “I suppose if you’re not having a good time you’d better go. No use being miserable.”
“Don’t you think common kindness——”
“Oh, please don’t quote `Little Women’!” cried Marjorie impatiently. “That’s out of...
1 tag
“If you’ve got a headache today, then ought you to wash your hair?”
...”
– Elizabeth Bowen, The Death of the Heart
Did you know? Red lipstick makes you a more...
Oh HEY, guys. I decided to stop being a jerk and post something to our beauty blog. It’s about bright red lipstick, and it’s just in time for Valentine’s Day.
(Kidding. I wrote that entirely to send Talia off screaming and tearing her hair. Talia once yelled at me for wearing red on the Jewish version of Valentine’s Day, in July. I believe her exact words were: “Oh...
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1 tag
Ivory Soap Will Save Your Life
seriously, Ivory soap for every stain (red wine, blueberry yogurt) on every fabric (silk, cotton, poly-blends) in any style (wedding dress, work suit). the white bar. nothing fancy. i keep one in a plastic bag under the bathroom sink.
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i used to work at the kind of store where customers would come in with a spot on something and ask us to fix it. we’d go to the back, soak the thing, scrub...
January 2012
20 posts
1 tag
1 tag
on those rare occasions when you want to make your boobs look smaller, wear a sports bra. NOT the one you sweat in. i recommend this pretty, soft thing in “crystal blue dust.”
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warning: you may never go back to that under-wire thing in your drawer.
1 tag
Woman who threads my eyebrows vs Mom
- Your eyebrows are very thick, hehehe! (1, 2)
- This one is thicker, this one is thinner! It’s thinner because you have a pimple! (1)
- You’re not going to do your mustache? (1, 2)
- Now men will love you. (1)
- No one will love you if you make that face. (2)
1. Eyebrow lady, 2. My mom
3 tags
Dorothy Parker Reviews Your Nail Polish Collection
OPI - Eiffel For This Color
We all must work; and for our pay Must die a little every day. That said, whoso this pun devised Should be humanely euthanized.
1 tag
behind the knees, please
mom says you’re never supposed to buy yourself perfume. not that anyone’s ever bought me any. still, i have two: mom gave me one bottle she didn’t like much; i got the other as a party favor at one of those new york charity events my cousin invited me to. i’m not about to guess at which scents work for which people; but, i can tell you where to put it:
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dab a tad on your...
guest tip:
sashayed:
glutyoursoul:
Andrea Barrett: “like, bathe your hair in the placenta of a newborn raccoon, or something?”
*Macarthur Award Winner and Pulitzer Prize Finalist Andrea Barrett.
also won the National Book Award.
guest tip:
Andrea Barrett: “like, bathe your hair in the placenta of a newborn raccoon, or something?”
1 tag
3 tags
1 tag
5 tags
pro-tip: have an essentials drawer at work.
Do you keep deodorant at your desk? Haha, of course not, you put on deodorant at home in the morning, every morning. Do you have a friend who is disgusting?
1 tag
A Two-fer
The cure for canker sores and hangnails:
1. Slather them in Neosporin before bed (not the cream kind)
2. Bite them off
Cetaphil + Baking Soda = Face Expholiant
my face has taken a toll in the past couple weeks with the holidays and the drinking and the (sh!) cigarettes and, mostly, the not sleeping. the wrinkles i have smoothed away after months of care have reappeared, black heads threaten the pores. my skin is dry and oily. i want to scrub away layers until i feel bright and cheerful.
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while i realize “bright and cheerful” is an...
08kjl asked: Look, does chapstick work or not?
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A fix for when you walk out of your shoes:
tape them to your feet.
I kit you not. This is apparently a modeling trick which I learned today and immediately deployed to great avail. Simply make 2 little tape loops—sticky side out, one per shoe—and affix one to the inside of each shoe, where your heel sits.
No more accidentally kicking your shoe off your foot onto small dogs and into the street!
This happens to everyone, right? Or is this...
On Thu, Jan 5, 2012 at 7:20 PM, Ruth S wrote: can I do “Dorothy Parker reviews your winter nail polish colors?” No, stop, I am already concerned that this is too ambitious a project. . 7:28 PM: “Dorothy Parker Gets Progressively Drunker While Reviewing Your Winter Nail Polish Colors.” . 7:29 PM: “50 Sexy Sex Tips To Drive Your Man Wild, By Gabriel Garcia...
How to Pull Up Your Pants When They're Falling...
this is actually not a post about pants, but about tights, and how, the other day, i was in the subway, wearing spandex-less wool tights, which were falling down. this is january, in new york city. i’m wearing these tights under legwarmers, under a skirt, under a jacket, with a scarf and gloves and sweaters to contend with. it was hot on the subway. the tights were itchy and falling down....
a ladies' guide to giving very good compliments
sashayed:
“I love your nails! That’s such a sexy, like, labioplasty pink.”
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“one of those rare moments of inspiration that can easily enough be overlooked later on, because the action is so entirely appropriate it seems inevitable.” -Carver, Errand
